I have become addicted to Doritos. The Doritos addiction has exceeded my ongoing infatuation with chocolate (once, my husband cleaned out my pantry and said, “What is UP with all the chocolate?”–I had bits and pieces of gourmet chocolate EVERYWHERE. It was behind the peanut butter, by the Campbell’s soup cans, on the top shelf next to the noodles, and just as soon as you thought you had found all the chocolate, you would discover another piece somewhere by the sugar). I have to have a little piece of chocolate everyday. Just a bite. It keeps me going.
But now it’s like that with Doritos. I developed the addiction at Hedgebrook, where the food was so healthy that I rebelled. Everything about the place was so nurturing and healthy–the environment, the country air, the nice people, the large expanse of time…and the food. It was low sugar, low carb, low fat (I’m talking organic cane sugar in the food, vegan high protein meals of tempeh or garbanzo beans, wonderful low sodium soups made with veggies straight from the garden). Even the daily baked cookies were healthier! (Later, when my husband picked me up for the long drive home, he took me to Subway sandwich and I went nuts! There was SO MUCH FLAVOR in the Subway sandwich! And then we had a white macadamia nut cookie from Subway too–the sugar was overwhelming. I could only have one bite, and even then, I got a bit hyper in the car).
Anyway–back to the healthy food. It was great, I was happy to lose weight, I was proud of myself, but after awhile, I just wanted some toxins. And I was HUNGRY. So fucking HUNGRY. And I was also just so ANGRY, I didn’t want to eat healthy anymore! I wanted to be bad! I dreamt about junk food. I scrounged through their pantry and found absolutely no junk food.
So I hiked through the woods, and took a bus into town, where I bought a big-ass bag of Doritos. (I’m sure if you had taken a secret videotape of me spotting the Doritos I would have looked insane). HEAVEN. OMG, it was heaven. I ate Doritos everyday that last week at Hedgebrook. I ate it for breakfast, and then with my lunch, and then as an afternoon snack. I am sure the health conscious people at Hedgebrook probably entered my cottage after I left and were like, “What is this NEON orange…powder? What IS this? Were aliens in this cottage?”
You would think one bag would have sufficed. Nope. I ate THREE big bags of Doritos that last week at my writing residency. I think there is even a neon orange stain on my last journal entry of the cottage.
And you would have thought that those three bags would have sufficed. But nooooo, here I am, months later, still eating Doritos nearly everyday.
I must stop.
But I cannot.
26 Comments
September 12, 2006 at 5:43 am
The Doritos story made me laugh. For me, it would have been Cheetos.
And HEY, I LOVE your new banner image and subtitle. It’s great stuff.
October 18, 2009 at 9:25 am
I’m glad I read this started panicing about eating a hole family size pack of doritos did it by mistake just kept munching them without thinking about how many I’m eating there all gone. Lol must have bad salt level about now
September 13, 2006 at 6:04 am
Doritos are VERY addictive, especially the nacho cheese-flavored ones. I never buy them, but if I’m at a party and they’re out, I can’t stop eating them.
September 14, 2006 at 12:42 am
Doritos, Doritos, Doritos!
September 17, 2006 at 2:17 am
Doritos are indeed like crack. Except in Korea they taste weird, and kind of wrong. It’s something about the corn, I swear. Being over here alone has basically killed my Doritos addiction (and my Coca-Cola addiction, and any number of other addictions). I still like me some good chocolate, though, and cheese is constantly present in my fridge.
October 30, 2006 at 7:06 pm
[...] The Doritos Addiction is fierce. I quit smoking last year (ah yes, thereby ruining the repose of my “angst ridden writer smoking cigarette while contemplating angst of protagonist with unfulfilled desire and road of challenges and maybe even heartbreak” while healing the cilia in my lungs and extending my lifespan by a few years)…but now I’m hooked on Doritos. [...]
November 9, 2006 at 8:45 am
i too am adicted to doritos! i am eating a bag right now and before long the whole bag will be gone!
November 9, 2006 at 1:43 pm
yay ya i agree
December 7, 2006 at 7:31 pm
I’ve just made a Doritos commercial about a guy who eats them voraciously. It’s for a contest that could brighten the future of me and a couple of friends. As of today we’re 7th “most loved” out of over a thousand.
Please watch it, here’s the link:
http://www.jumpcut.com/view?id=922479AA832411DB910B3EF340157CF2
and if you love it, say it with a heart and then vote later. The more attention we can draw to his ad the better so pass it on.
August 10, 2007 at 11:53 am
OMG ITS TRUE! i am so addicted its unreal! im really actually worried, im quite a slim girl and dont understand how eating like 1000 calories worth of doritos everyday isnt making me fattt.
i cant stop! what chemicals do they have in them that is physically addictive??!
January 11, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Omggggg!!! im crazyy for doritoss!!! i cnt stopp!! i want too tho!! im eating right now… this is hopefully my lastt freakin baggggggg…I hate doritos dammit its ruining me! how can i stop?
January 14, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I KNOW! It’s like from the time I open the bag until I get to the bottom, I have absolutely no memory of eating the entire bag, but yet it is gone!!! They ARE an addiction!!
March 18, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I just finished a large size bag of doritos and thought to myself, there is something wrong with me. I googled doritos addiction and stumbled upon your website. You made me laugh!
We are not alone, there are countless people like you & I who are addicted to that orange powder on these tasty corn chips!
March 19, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I’m glad I made you laugh, K! I guess that’s another good thing about Doritos: they can bring on a giddiness.
March 24, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I just ate 3/4 of an entire bag. I felt so bad that I Googled “entire bag of Doritos” and found this article. To be fair, I did it on an empty stomach. But now I’m too full to eat anything healthy, and now my stomach is full of corn and salt (but my taste buds are in cheesy heaven). I do this about twice a year and it never ends well. At least I don’t have a sweet tooth.
April 2, 2008 at 7:57 pm
It’s nice to see that I’m not the only one with the addiction; sorry guys. But I also cannot stop eating them. I have been eating Doritos since I was super young, and have been til this day, and I am now 24. But I don’t eat them plain! I have them with lemon and Tapatio, and it’s super delicious but addicting. I’ve tried stopping so many times but I just go back to them. Anyone have any suggestions because this addiction is killing me!
April 2, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Huh – an old post turns up. I can’t believe I didnt’ pipe up when this first came around, but maybe I wasn’t a reader yet. (I met Jadepark in sept. ‘06)
You all can have your Doritos. My secret addictive junk food is Cheetos. Cheetos, Cheetos, Cheetos. That orangey goop that sticks to your fingers… so evil.
Nowadays that I’m trying to eat really healthy (yeah right, just went to Ici for ice cream) I go for the high rent sea salt and vinegar potato chips with no trans fats when I want to indulge.
But it’s better to bake up a potato and eat it with butter if I want those carbs and fats. Cheetos!!! mmmm
April 14, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Jesus. Why is it that cool ranch doritos call to me while I lay in bed trying to sleep? I’m on a diet, and have lose a good bit of weight…I justify it as my naughty day, and then punish myself for the rest of the week. I just killed two gas station burritos, and 3/4 a big bag of cool ranch…DAMN YOU DORITOS, granted they dont add pounds to the scale, and the damage is easily undone, I feel like I have just committed a crime. Although, I will be able to go to bed now that I have pacified the little gremlin that is my stomach.
May 19, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Oh, damn..I swear to god, These things absolutely MUST be addicting in some way..I sat down to eat a bowl (Honestly, a dutch oven sized bowl, because girlfriend’s kid eats half a chip and puts it back in the bag..UGH! So i got my share while they were still semi-sanitary.) And, admittedly weird, googled “Doritos Review” just to see what people have said about them, and came across this site, and i ate the whole damn thing!!
June 20, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Hilarious! I’ve been craving doritos all day, but I’m on a diet so I can’t eat them. I decided to find out how many calories were in a whole bag… and stumbled upon this site. I’m contemplating for-going a full day’s worth of food to be able to eat an entire bag of cheesy salty goodnessy doritos….mmmm
October 27, 2008 at 10:25 am
Hey, I’m just reading this and laughing to myself a little… Have you guys ever considered appetite suppressants? It’s why I started smoking (albeit the worst, most unhealthy one you can get), and I’ve lost a ton of weight. Also, doritos aren’t “addictive”, it’s more a personal problem where you feel your body craving calories and fat, but in your head it’s a thousand times worse. Keep them off your mind and i’m sure you’ll no longer be “addicted” to something so rediculous
November 16, 2008 at 11:00 pm
So I am not alone. I cannot be alone in this house with a bag of doritos with eatting them. Get this, had some leftovers stashed in my purse from snacking with a freind earlier. Even though we went out to dinner when I got home and remembered the doritos had to eat them. And now I feel like I usually feel after eatting them, like the devil had just puked in my mouth. And yet I know I´ll never stop, no matter how bad I feel afterwards.
It´s the seasoning I crave, after that first cruch and burst of flavor I almost don´t want to bother to eat them once the flavor has dissapated, have almost been tempted to spit them out and go for the next one. Now that is really sick.
This is my first time here, this is great, like going to confession, ha ha.
September 20, 2009 at 4:03 pm
[...] orange, but her entire palm. This girl looked like she had been eating Doritos for a few hours now! This blogger could probably [...]
October 1, 2009 at 12:05 am
I found this site typing in -im addicted to doritoes- the nacho cheese ones
just wanna let u peoples know that They have these new 100 calorie box packs in stores now. Theres like 5 indiviualy wrapeded in a box. Helps to eat less but you will open another bag usually. Hopefully my arteries are not coated in powderd cheese yet. Maybe there is some kind of chemical they put in stuff to make u crave it more.
October 1, 2009 at 7:29 am
i just have to stay away from them, period.
that blasted msg is addictive!
November 18, 2009 at 9:25 am
I am ashamed that I googled doritos addiction lol!!! I frequently crave doritos ever since my daughter was born. I ate them while pregnant and not I want them all the time. Soooo good!! I think I am going to try the baked ones so that I do not get huge!!