something to mention about time

Time…is moving…very…slowly.
How slow is it moving?  I look up at the clock and realize…that it has been almost exactly a week since she died. A week and three hours.
I’m awake in Tel Aviv, watching the clock crawl past 2:30am. Crrrrawl.

sleep

Today is a little better than yesterday. My strange fever (yes, the one that struck the day after she was buried) broke by morning today after a night of Tylenol and cold towels.
My emotions calmed. Because I am not avel (parent, spouse, sibling, or child of the deceased) and I am allowed out [...]

Grieving: the guilty part that comes after denial

The picture I want up here is that of my hotel room–dark, lights off…with a crack of afternoon light streaming off the Mediterranean sea between the narrow curtain opening as it flaps in the wind. I just want to sit in the dark all day.
We are sitting shiva, to Jewish custom. [...]

no words

Today, in Israel, we buried her. That was pure hell.

nothing to say

There is still nothing to say, really. I am keeping quiet. As a writer, I believe in the power of words–but even that power has its limits. We’re staring down a stark path with no deviations or meandering offramps. Each of us, with our unique grief, stumbles forward–fast, slow, running, crawling, [...]

a cliff

Right after yesterday’s post on my afternoon malaise, I got a phone call from my husband. It was the kind of phone call you just never want to get. There was a death in the family–an incredible, sudden, terrible death.
The news barely sinking in, we hurriedly packed up to leave town, taking a [...]

Vegas fast forward

I have excused myself and retreated to the quiet of our hotel room, as the hubby shmoozes at a business gathering. Normally, I love to shmooze and surround myself with people and stimulation, but this time, it is all just a little too much for me.
Is it remaining jetlag from London? Is it [...]

well–at least your kids will be occupied for awhile

I just read, on Ed Champion, that the last Harry Potter book will be (get this) 784 pages long, with a print run of (get this) 12 milllllllion.
Aside from his point about the environment (though the book will be printed on recycled paper)…why can’t someone edit J.K. Rowling?! Shouldn’t this be a shorter [...]

Thinking Blogger Awards

Susan over at ReadingWritingLiving, awarded me with a Thinking Blogger Award! I was surprised, stunned, and utterly without an acceptance speech. In fact, I think I was chewing on something crunchy and wearing a gnarly pair of pajamas when I found out, true to form. Thank goodness for the internet, because I [...]

hope around the corner

In a previous post entitled “A Chock Full Day,” I wrote:
I have discovered on this trip newly returned capabilities, and some lessons in my stroke recovery–one thing being, I have decided to put it past me. At least superficially and publicly. I’ll still be coping and the issues may pop up, and I may air [...]

why do we forget so much

I keep diaries (this one and my private moleskine) for so many reasons–one of which is the fear that I will forget so much of my life. I am afraid that these beautiful and terrifying moments will dissipate into nothingness, and then what will I be left with? Why am I living them [...]

home

I’m home.
Read no further if that’s all you need to know.
I love London, but really, I am very lucky to come home to a place I love more than any other place in the world. (This fact is confirmed upon each homecoming).
So no matter how much fun I have on a trip, [...]