Doritos addiction

I have become addicted to Doritos. The Doritos addiction has exceeded my ongoing infatuation with chocolate (once, my husband cleaned out my pantry and said, “What is UP with all the chocolate?”–I had bits and pieces of gourmet chocolate EVERYWHERE. It was behind the peanut butter, by the Campbell’s soup cans, on the top shelf next to the noodles, and just as soon as you thought you had found all the chocolate, you would discover another piece somewhere by the sugar). I have to have a little piece of chocolate everyday. Just a bite. It keeps me going.

But now it’s like that with Doritos. I developed the addiction at Hedgebrook, where the food was so healthy that I rebelled. Everything about the place was so nurturing and healthy–the environment, the country air, the nice people, the large expanse of time…and the food. It was low sugar, low carb, low fat (I’m talking organic cane sugar in the food, vegan high protein meals of tempeh or garbanzo beans, wonderful low sodium soups made with veggies straight from the garden). Even the daily baked cookies were healthier! (Later, when my husband picked me up for the long drive home, he took me to Subway sandwich and I went nuts! There was SO MUCH FLAVOR in the Subway sandwich! And then we had a white macadamia nut cookie from Subway too–the sugar was overwhelming. I could only have one bite, and even then, I got a bit hyper in the car).

Anyway–back to the healthy food. It was great, I was happy to lose weight, I was proud of myself, but after awhile, I just wanted some toxins. And I was HUNGRY. So fucking HUNGRY. And I was also just so ANGRY, I didn’t want to eat healthy anymore! I wanted to be bad! I dreamt about junk food. I scrounged through their pantry and found absolutely no junk food.

So I hiked through the woods, and took a bus into town, where I bought a big-ass bag of Doritos. (I’m sure if you had taken a secret videotape of me spotting the Doritos I would have looked insane). HEAVEN. OMG, it was heaven. I ate Doritos everyday that last week at Hedgebrook. I ate it for breakfast, and then with my lunch, and then as an afternoon snack. I am sure the health conscious people at Hedgebrook probably entered my cottage after I left and were like, “What is this NEON orange…powder? What IS this? Were aliens in this cottage?”

You would think one bag would have sufficed. Nope. I ate THREE big bags of Doritos that last week at my writing residency. I think there is even a neon orange stain on my last journal entry of the cottage.

And you would have thought that those three bags would have sufficed. But nooooo, here I am, months later, still eating Doritos nearly everyday.

I must stop.

But I cannot.

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38 Comments

Filed under Funny Shit, Life

38 responses to “Doritos addiction

  1. The Doritos story made me laugh. For me, it would have been Cheetos.

    And HEY, I LOVE your new banner image and subtitle. It’s great stuff.

    • daz

      I’m glad I read this started panicing about eating a hole family size pack of doritos did it by mistake just kept munching them without thinking about how many I’m eating there all gone. Lol must have bad salt level about now

  2. Doritos are VERY addictive, especially the nacho cheese-flavored ones. I never buy them, but if I’m at a party and they’re out, I can’t stop eating them.

  3. Doritos, Doritos, Doritos!

  4. Doritos are indeed like crack. Except in Korea they taste weird, and kind of wrong. It’s something about the corn, I swear. Being over here alone has basically killed my Doritos addiction (and my Coca-Cola addiction, and any number of other addictions). I still like me some good chocolate, though, and cheese is constantly present in my fridge.

  5. Pingback: Update on the Doritos Addiction « Writing Under a Pseudonym

  6. cat

    i too am adicted to doritos! i am eating a bag right now and before long the whole bag will be gone!

  7. shally

    yay ya i agree

  8. I’ve just made a Doritos commercial about a guy who eats them voraciously. It’s for a contest that could brighten the future of me and a couple of friends. As of today we’re 7th “most loved” out of over a thousand.

    Please watch it, here’s the link:
    http://www.jumpcut.com/view?id=922479AA832411DB910B3EF340157CF2
    and if you love it, say it with a heart and then vote later. The more attention we can draw to his ad the better so pass it on.

  9. Sam

    OMG ITS TRUE! i am so addicted its unreal! im really actually worried, im quite a slim girl and dont understand how eating like 1000 calories worth of doritos everyday isnt making me fattt.
    i cant stop! what chemicals do they have in them that is physically addictive??!

  10. Ann

    Omggggg!!! im crazyy for doritoss!!! i cnt stopp!! i want too tho!! im eating right now… this is hopefully my lastt freakin baggggggg…I hate doritos dammit its ruining me! how can i stop?

  11. Denise

    I KNOW! It’s like from the time I open the bag until I get to the bottom, I have absolutely no memory of eating the entire bag, but yet it is gone!!! They ARE an addiction!!

  12. K.

    I just finished a large size bag of doritos and thought to myself, there is something wrong with me. I googled doritos addiction and stumbled upon your website. You made me laugh!

    We are not alone, there are countless people like you & I who are addicted to that orange powder on these tasty corn chips!

  13. I’m glad I made you laugh, K! I guess that’s another good thing about Doritos: they can bring on a giddiness. 😛

  14. jib

    I just ate 3/4 of an entire bag. I felt so bad that I Googled “entire bag of Doritos” and found this article. To be fair, I did it on an empty stomach. But now I’m too full to eat anything healthy, and now my stomach is full of corn and salt (but my taste buds are in cheesy heaven). I do this about twice a year and it never ends well. At least I don’t have a sweet tooth.

  15. Linny

    It’s nice to see that I’m not the only one with the addiction; sorry guys. But I also cannot stop eating them. I have been eating Doritos since I was super young, and have been til this day, and I am now 24. But I don’t eat them plain! I have them with lemon and Tapatio, and it’s super delicious but addicting. I’ve tried stopping so many times but I just go back to them. Anyone have any suggestions because this addiction is killing me!

  16. Huh – an old post turns up. I can’t believe I didnt’ pipe up when this first came around, but maybe I wasn’t a reader yet. (I met Jadepark in sept. ’06)

    You all can have your Doritos. My secret addictive junk food is Cheetos. Cheetos, Cheetos, Cheetos. That orangey goop that sticks to your fingers… so evil.

    Nowadays that I’m trying to eat really healthy (yeah right, just went to Ici for ice cream) I go for the high rent sea salt and vinegar potato chips with no trans fats when I want to indulge.

    But it’s better to bake up a potato and eat it with butter if I want those carbs and fats. Cheetos!!! mmmm

  17. Jesus. Why is it that cool ranch doritos call to me while I lay in bed trying to sleep? I’m on a diet, and have lose a good bit of weight…I justify it as my naughty day, and then punish myself for the rest of the week. I just killed two gas station burritos, and 3/4 a big bag of cool ranch…DAMN YOU DORITOS, granted they dont add pounds to the scale, and the damage is easily undone, I feel like I have just committed a crime. Although, I will be able to go to bed now that I have pacified the little gremlin that is my stomach.

  18. Oh, damn..I swear to god, These things absolutely MUST be addicting in some way..I sat down to eat a bowl (Honestly, a dutch oven sized bowl, because girlfriend’s kid eats half a chip and puts it back in the bag..UGH! So i got my share while they were still semi-sanitary.) And, admittedly weird, googled “Doritos Review” just to see what people have said about them, and came across this site, and i ate the whole damn thing!!

  19. L

    Hilarious! I’ve been craving doritos all day, but I’m on a diet so I can’t eat them. I decided to find out how many calories were in a whole bag… and stumbled upon this site. I’m contemplating for-going a full day’s worth of food to be able to eat an entire bag of cheesy salty goodnessy doritos….mmmm

  20. Curiousone

    Hey, I’m just reading this and laughing to myself a little… Have you guys ever considered appetite suppressants? It’s why I started smoking (albeit the worst, most unhealthy one you can get), and I’ve lost a ton of weight. Also, doritos aren’t “addictive”, it’s more a personal problem where you feel your body craving calories and fat, but in your head it’s a thousand times worse. Keep them off your mind and i’m sure you’ll no longer be “addicted” to something so rediculous

  21. Hooked

    So I am not alone. I cannot be alone in this house with a bag of doritos with eatting them. Get this, had some leftovers stashed in my purse from snacking with a freind earlier. Even though we went out to dinner when I got home and remembered the doritos had to eat them. And now I feel like I usually feel after eatting them, like the devil had just puked in my mouth. And yet I know I´ll never stop, no matter how bad I feel afterwards.
    It´s the seasoning I crave, after that first cruch and burst of flavor I almost don´t want to bother to eat them once the flavor has dissapated, have almost been tempted to spit them out and go for the next one. Now that is really sick.
    This is my first time here, this is great, like going to confession, ha ha.

  22. Pingback: Dorito Eater on the Bus « Kelsey Avers

  23. Jason

    I found this site typing in -im addicted to doritoes- the nacho cheese ones 🙂 just wanna let u peoples know that They have these new 100 calorie box packs in stores now. Theres like 5 indiviualy wrapeded in a box. Helps to eat less but you will open another bag usually. Hopefully my arteries are not coated in powderd cheese yet. Maybe there is some kind of chemical they put in stuff to make u crave it more. 

  24. Sadie

    I am ashamed that I googled doritos addiction lol!!! I frequently crave doritos ever since my daughter was born. I ate them while pregnant and not I want them all the time. Soooo good!! I think I am going to try the baked ones so that I do not get huge!!

  25. Stan

    Ok, here’s the truth why it’s so addictive: it contains MSG (monosodium glutamate). Just look at the list of ingredients on the back of that bag and you’ll see MSG listed there. This ingredient will cause you to eat more than you want to, and make it seem like your taste buds & sensations are on a high. I have had a strong strong pull towards Spicy Nacho Doritos lately and now am more aware that it’s the MSG that makes it sooo hard to stop eating them. So, I’m stepping back from biting even one chip because I know if I don’t, it will trigger something in me to keep eating them voraciously. It’s like biting the apple….one bite can kill you.

  26. Sparkle

    There’s just something about Doritos that makes me so happy. I can eat a whole bag on the trot, I love them!

  27. Dee

    LOL I just felt incredibly guilty because I ate almost a whole large packet of Doritos and wanted to see how many calories I consumed and stumbled upon this 😛
    I think it about 300 calories for 20 chips or so and i just ingested over 50 so that’s almost 1000 calories! Oh deeear. I recently curbed my insane chocolate addiction only to pick up a Doritos obsession. Happy eating everyone!Omnomnomnom

  28. Ray

    I am so addicted to Tangy Cheese Doritos I don’t know what it is about that as you say it “Neon Orange Powder”. When I find a chip that is covered it’s like i’ve found the lucky bag or something! I can’t put them down once I pick them up and if i’m nibbling on them when I watch a movie! Even worse!

    They’re so addictive!!! Stop the Neon Orange Powder invasion hah!

    Anyway, I have ran out of Doritos! I will need to look for another discount offer in one of the superstores somewhere! I know ASDA are selling them, 2 times 250g packs for £2! =]

  29. Lionel Yu

    DON’T get the nacho cheese doritos, they are the most addicting. Stick to cooler ranch.

  30. Cinderella

    I eat them until I feel sick literally… damnit those tangy cheese nachos of neon orangy goodness are tooo addictive. Worst part is where I work sells the giant share bags 200g for 39p …… so I buy them thinking… ahhh thats cheap… i’ll have a nibble, and then I eat the whole bag, and make myself near ill trying to finish them! Not healthy! But just sooo yummy! It’s the ultimate sin in binge eating!

  31. dadouche

    I am fucking addicted to doritos….seriously, please make it stop. i would kill a small family for doritos. i am only typing with my right hand because my left hand is full of fucking DORITO CHEESE!

  32. relo

    OMG !!here i was thinking that im the only one loosing my mind , not to mention my waist line .. im highly adddicted to Doritos .. all of the flavours, it ubelievable that people out there , like me exist .. Now im going buy a huuuge bag of Doritos to celebrate !!!

  33. M-E

    Haha just like everyone here, I’m happy to see that I’m not the only one who has this life-long addiction! Spicy Doritos dipped in sour cream and Frank’s Red Hot Sauce is simply the best thing after sex!

  34. I did the same thing except I would eat one for lunch… and two after I got home from training what do I do help me I way over two hundered pounds and I am only elevan every single time I Pass the mirror to stop and look I start to think I look like s**t how do I stop please

  35. Gem

    And me too!!! Cept I dunk into the salsa dip. In one sitting I polish off 2 bags and jars of sauce!!! I’m addicted!!!

  36. Dani Beckwith

    I have been eating the Spicy Doritos for a few months now. I hadn’t eaten Doritos for years and never “succumbed” to them in the past. But now is a different story; they are incredibly addicting — nothing will do for me except the Spicy. Worse part of it is that 7-11 here in my neighborhood runs out of the Spicys very, very quickly. It could be that I am buying them all up myself. I didn’t realize MSG had potential for addiction.
    Honestly, my main concern is not so much the MSG, the calories, salt or even the FAT, it is the fact that corn is a genetically-modified food that has not been proven to be safe for human consumption (or animal consumption). I keep thinking that my awareness of this will somehow deter me from buying more Spicy Doritos but, alas, it has not. I am hooked, even it I die from the addiction~!

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