quiet cousin

I wrote a letter to a cousin I had not seen in about twenty years.  We’d lost touch for complicated reasons, and only recently did someone relay his whereabouts.  He’s here in the U.S.!  The letter was short and courteous and curious.  How are you we are fine please let me know how you are doing here is my contact info.

I waited a couple weeks.  No answer.  I wrote a second letter to him, relaying similar sentiment.

I waited another couple weeks.  No answer.

I didn’t have his email but I did have his phone number.  So I called and left voicemail.  How are you we are fine hope you are well please let us know how you are doing sorry to bother you seems like you’re busy I won’t bother you if you don’t want but just in case here is my contact info.  That sort of thing.

No answer.

I had always thought we’d lost touch with each other due to circumstance–that the rift between us was a consequence of other family friction.  Perhaps he has inherited the rift.  Our fathers’ battle is not our battle too, is it?

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “quiet cousin

  1. I have cousins like that too; we used to be close as little kids but then we have inherited our parents’ rift. (our parents have not spoken in over 30 years) It’s sad. But I was always paranoid that it was because I was adopted and that they did not consider me a “real” relative.

  2. Oh that is so sad–I hope you know it’s their problem, not yours! It is so weird how my cousin doesn’t respond to me; how is our parents’ problem ours (but I guess in that way I am wholly American)! But I know that in Korean culture, the individual doesn’t really exist within family. (sorry, didn’t say that right but you know what I mean).

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