my opportunity

ahhh.  I am finally getting my work done.  I got so frustrated last weekend when I had an opportunity to join a friend to write and stayed home with the intention of cuddling with my husband and nursing my cold.  But nope–he had to work.  So there I was, sort of stranded, sniffling and feeling…bleah.
I wasn’t frustrated that he had to work, I was frustrated with MYSELF, for consistently prioritizing my writing BEFORE so many other things.  Of course, in the big picture my marriage and my husband are the most important things in my life, but why make writing such a distant second?  I can spend an afternoon writing without causing harm to my relationship for sure.

This weekend, I’m getting my writing done.  Thanks to my buddy who is on a disciplined roll, I’ve got a role model. Sometimes, even though writing is a solitary act and I definitely have the unfading desire to write, my writer friends are what keep my momentum up.

I felt so good yesterday when I emerged with a few more good pages written, instead of sitting at home, worrying about my novel and trying to bide my time while waiting for my husband.  Today, he’s going to have to work again–but guess what: I’m going to go somewhere to write.

Yes, I know these are elemental things.  Of COURSE I’m supposed to write, of COURSE I’m supposed to negotiate the space for it.  And it’s hard to set aside our relationships to focus on the words.  Easier said than done, I say!

I cannot even imagine how mothers get to writing.  How do you do it?  I admire you for that resolve.  I feel guilty when I tell my grown up husband that “I have to write,” when he wants to spend time with me!

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3 Comments

Filed under Writing

3 responses to “my opportunity

  1. Oh well, kids. If I don’t write, I’ll be so evil that I’ll cause more harm than I might by ignoring them.

    In the husband dept. – it’s best to have a husband who supports your writing (I do, thank God, this time around). I’ve had one husband who didn’t and one fiance/tormentor who sabotaged like crazy, while sweet-talking. I also spent time on my own in between all of those relationships. Finally figured it out that I can avoid writing while alone just as well as in a relationship. The husband isn’t really the cause of my writing issues. But then again, it’s always best to find one who genuinely supports the writing, because they CAN be a pain in the ass if they don’t.

    Yes, the kids make it much more difficult. Goddess teacher, herself a mom, suggested I put them in after-school care next semester so I can get more time to work. I didn’t do it this term because of all the family upheaval and adjustment – felt they needed to be close to me for a while. But next term they’re going to aftercare 4x a week. They can handle it…

  2. I totally echo what Leonessa said. If Mama doesn’t get to write, the entire family suffers in a big way. I always call my writing my “third child.” And it cannot be abandoned or ignored.

    I do think the balancing thing is hard, and needs to be re-negotiated every day. But I’ve noticed that everyone in my family moved aside and made room for my writing during NaNoWriMo, and that resistance is much more in MY head than in theirs.

  3. Heck, I have the same problem without a wife or kids. 🙂

    All the married writers I know write at ungodly morning hours. I guess I’m headed to that reality soon too, but at least I’ll have a wife and not a roommate, so the extra bedroom can be an office w/ loud, drowse-defying music.

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