Well. Last week I thought I had injured my boob in a kitchen accident. I had surmised I’d gotten burned somehow. The skin was reddened, I was experienced searing burning pain in waves with an overall sensitivity. But over the last week, it’s become clear that the pain is not coming from burned skin but from somewhere underneath the skin, in my breast tissue. And ugh, I feel a lump. I don’t think it was there before last week, but who knows? It might have been lurking for a few weeks.
I’m waiting for the pain to go away–maybe it will go away. It’s getting uncomfortable, it’s annoying, and my body’s telling me this is a real problem that hasn’t gone away in a week’s time. I guess I will be calling the doctor tomorrow. I am the Queen of Denial (once, it took me 3 months to go to my doctor for colon cancer symptoms that I will not deign to list but you get the idea), and I hate having my bubble burst, but so be it.
Now I am sitting in the house alone imagining the worst and taking myself through the steps to prepare.
But of course, at the same time, I am IM’ing friends and chatting about anything else and of course, blogging. Is it possible to be in denial and imagining the worst at the same time? Or is this imagining stuff tied into denial?