the steps to healing


First I had a stroke.

Then I entered a physical recovery process.

Once I got physically better, I entered an emotional grieving process.

Now, the hospital bills arrive.

The bills are a bit of a mystery, even to someone (me) mostly familiar with medical billing (I made a 3 year foray into the medical industry at one point in my career). Thankfully most of the bills have been (mostly) paid by insurance–especially that weeklong stay in the hospital (that was nearly $60K!).

Then there are bills rejected because I’m “not insured.” (How can that be? The other claims were paid). Uh. So I’ve been sleuthing with my stroke addled brain. In one case, I discovered my name was mispelled (by ONE letter).

In other cases, the facilities have used health insurance from eons ago–of course, I’m not covered there.

Fun fun fun!

Tomorrow, I think I will sit down and try to do some creative writing, for the first time since my stroke. Hopefully, that is the next step–and I pray that it is, because writing is the way I cope with my emotional torment.



Filed under The Stroke, Writing

8 responses to “the steps to healing

  1. physical suffering cannot be truly appreciated until one has gone through it oneself. The depths you can plummet – I truly feel for your situation.


  2. I admire and respect you for your dedication, your total commitment to your writing. You inspire me. And yes I understand that you *must* write, it’s how you cope. I still admire you for your courage and your tenacity … as well as your perceptiveness and sensitivity and writerly brilliance.

    Good luck…

  3. thank you–i don’t feel very admirable, so i appreciate your comment, leonessa, and find it very uplifting. i hope your writing is going well.

    and thanks for your encouragement, ggwfung.

  4. Even baby steps can seem monumental but you are moving forward and you are healing it seems to me. Thanks so much for sharing your progress and your frustrations/anger with us. You have great insight.

  5. Oh, man, insurance claims/bills are the worst. Not long ago, I battled over one set for a year and a half. My doctor even got involved and called on my behalf. I sometimes wonder if the reason health care costs are so high is the gross inefficiency/incompetence of the insurance companies.
    In any case, I wish you luck….with the bills and with your writing.

  6. Good luck with the writing today. Please try and keep it small. A ten minute freewrite? Something like that.

    And as for the bills: agh. How about a bonfire. The bills we got in the last five years of my father’s life could have filled an entire dumpster. I hate private health insurance.

  7. Yikes! After a similar scare, I discovered that sometimes large insurance companies are fractured. Blue Shield, for example, bills out of several sub-companies. The hospital in my case was billing the wrong wing of the insurance company (and scaring me nearly to death with “claim denied”). Do you have someone to help you deal with the filing and financial hoop-of-flaming-crap?

    I think it’s particularly cruel that all the paperwork inevitably comes when one is just starting to get a foothold on recovery. Stress via mail, bleh.

  8. mel

    Yeah, insurance red tape freaking sucks! Best wishes for writing, the bon-fire, etc.

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