bullet points

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Remember that black notebook, my beloved moleskine?

I’ve been writing in it–neglecting this blog. These days, I’ve just wanted lots of privacy. There’s just something to writing my thoughts down on paper these days, and pondering my life in privacy. I feel great solace in that act…but at the same time, I am feeling a loss of connection with the world.

My black notebook, where the writing is longhand, is just not enough, somehow. I thought it might be, but it is not.

turkeys

So I thought I would provide an update:

  • The turkeys are still alive and well.
  • The mole/gopher/molepher is very quiet. So very quiet that I wonder if the ultrasonic sound emitting stake, or my dachshund’s foray into the garden, may have successfully chased him away.
  • I am still so very exhausted. I read back into the blogs, and realized that I have been exhausted since at least July 8th, nearly three weeks now. No amount of sleep seems to kick the tired cloud around me. If I exercise, I get even MORE tired.
  • We visited Tahoe last weekend, driving there in the dark, unable to see what the fire had done. In the morning, as we drove out of town, there it was–a large swath of scorched brown trees.
  • I finished a complete draft of the short story I’ve been working on for a few months now. My eyes are on the next short story (and a couple of essays rumbling in my mind).
  • An earthquake hit town this week–it struck with an enormous jolt that felt like the imminent Big One. It was a maddening introduction that faded away after a few seconds. Now, we are no stranger to earthquakes, living less than 1000 feet from a major faultline and feeling those shakers on a regular basis, but this week’s earthquake had a different vibe to it. So much so, that we were surprised to hear it was a relatively mild 4.2 on the richter scale. But in those few seconds of severe shaking, I have to say that I felt a great peace. I guess if I’d gone right then, it would have been okay.
  • Still, there are many things I still want to accomplish. I’ve got school in the Fall! I wonder what my stamina will be like, what my new schedule and all the writing will be like. My life has been very sequestered in the last few months, and it will be a big shift for me to be back in the fold of people who are not necessarily kind and not necessarily friends.
  • Oh, and I am reading Harry Potter. As of this afternoon, I am on page 85 (I got a late start). But now I’m in the thick of it. Everything is on hold.

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5 Comments

Filed under Life

5 responses to “bullet points

  1. I’m pretty bad about writing in blogs these days as well – and I guess it has more to do with being selfish with my writing that it does with not wanting to write online…
    Keep what you will to yourself sweetheart – we’ll catch up when we can… 🙂

  2. I’ve had a similar feeling about privacy. There is so much I want to say, about the realities of my new job, about how I really feel about so many things, but I feel like my blog is too public of a place to put them down. I’ve considered going back to a notebook, but even that doesn’t feel right. Maybe I just need to dwell in my own head for a while and it will pass, I don’t know.

    As for you, I hope your exhaustion passes. Congratulations on the short story. And have fun savoring Harry Potter! I envy all the Harry Potter readers and their excitement.

  3. I’ve been very tired lately, too. I hope we both start feeling rested soon.

  4. Lamberakis

    Hooray for the turkeys!

  5. Eric: I miss your writing, but I understand! Sometimes, we just don’t want to share, and that is totally okay. Famous Writers Ayelet Waldman and Michael Chabon have been quoted as saying that blogging takes away from their more serious writing (and I am beginning to understand that stance).

    Nova: oooh–I feel like we are really missing out on some juicy writing! But a writing must allow you safety, so sequester as you need. 🙂

    My exhaustion hopefully, will pass…and I spent the whole day writing (slowly but steadily, as that is how my writing goes, these days). Annnd–why was I able to write today? Because I finished Harry Potter! Woo. All done with THAT.

    Bustopher: I know–and we neither of us can really drink caffeine! Here’s to big plush pillows and restful activities that keep us occupied but don’t exhaust us further.

    Lamberakis: yes! I am SO rooting for the turkeys.

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