my new writing

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It is heartbreaking to read my writing now. I discover writing errors that I would never have made before the stroke–random misspellings/misusage of homonyms and weird missplaced diction. It’s not rampant, but there they are, sprinkled throughout the manuscript. That’s not how I had phrased things in my head, but that’s how they hit the page, as if some mischievous elf had grasped the words as they traveled from my brain to the keyboard and twisted them about. That elf is laughing now.

Of course, this leads me to doubt my writing as a whole. How are the sentences? They look so–basic. Is my language anywhere it used to be? What else took a weird turn from my thoughts to the page? I have reread and reread my manuscripts to catch them, almost uttering aloud, “Why would I write THAT?! What is that word doing there?!”

Am I deceiving myself? Do I think I’m okay, and am totally not?

My cardiologist cleared me for exercise today.

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