I am estranged from one of my uncles, and consequently, from two of my cousins. Or maybe he’s estranged from my family. Not sure how that whole estrangement thing works. It is seriously not as formal as it sounds–there is no process no organized method of release. Estrangement is a crazy hectic road that ends abruptly. Regardless, we’re not on speaking terms.
These are two cousins I spent happy days with as a child, before they moved back to Korea, before their father got divorced (whereby the female cousin cut herself off from him, her brother, and us and left for her mother’s house after a furious protest and hunger fast), and before their father pissed my father off (whereby we cut ourselves off from him and them). Whereby all ties were severed. We were all in junior high school when we last saw, talked, corresponded with each other.
Not too long ago, I was handed some data about those cousins. One of them, the female one, is married to a Stanford Ph.D. student. That means she lives within driving distance. It maddens me to think that I can’t get ahold of her, even though she is within such close proximity.
Not too long after that piece of information, I was handed the mailing address of the other male cousin (her brother). I’ve mailed him a letter. No response. I mailed him another letter after that. No response.
This holiday season, I’m mailing him a holiday card. I expect no response.