I’ve been found out!

Have to shut this site down. I got an email from my stalker this morning saying he knows that I blog here, and that I will have to reveal my identity to my readers (or else he will). What to do, what to do…


Here’s his email…


So–this is where you’ve ended  up?  I found you.  It looks like you didn’t disappear!

You thought you could hide from me–you silly girl.  And you think you can hide from your readers!  All I had to do was google for the words you love to use–like “the” and “and” and “really” and “writing.”  Those are all words you use often.  and it was so easy to find you.

And all that quibbling about your novel!  Write it already–but are you going to publish it under a pseudonym or under your REAL name, XXXXXXXXXXXXXX?  Ha.  That’ll be quite a choice for you.  How are you going to decide that?  I’m going to buy one thousand copies of that novel when it comes out.

You need to come out!  You need to identify yourself, or I will!

Stop hiding!  I’ve found you!  HahahahaHAAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahaaaaa.

Yours cordially,




Filed under Funny Stuff

16 responses to “I’ve been found out!

  1. It’s the typed maniacal laughter towards the end that gets to me… that and the “1000 copies” of your book.

  2. heh.
    you got me. i was like “oh noes!”

    silly girl.

  3. Oh ugh. No way.

    No way can you shut down an incredibly powerful, amazingly written site because of one obnoxious idiot.

    Bleah is right. But really. Take away his power.

    Say “so f-ing what.”

  4. anonwupfan

    Damn it! A shiver ran down my spine before I caught myself! I was worried about you and your wiener dogs!

  5. w

    Really, really, really?


  6. h

    april fools? yes? like gmail’s time change and the snarky local yelp newsletter?

  7. very creepy! it also sucks that one jerk can ruin the blog reading/following experience for everyone.

  8. yes, April Fool’s!!!! I’m sorry–I tried to make the post funny, but I wrote it in the fog of dawn this morning. I guess not as amusing as I’d hoped–so no cause for alarm! Thank you for your concern. Ack. April Fool’s joke gone bad. 😦

    It would be maddening to think I’d have to shut ANOTHER website down due to the stalker (he’s the reason my anonymous pseudonym even exists).

  9. THAT IS VERY BAD! But, still, it’s better than when my kid called me at work to say our dog had run away.

  10. Violeta

    I read this this morning and was concerned until this afternoon, when I figured out that maybe it was an April Fool’s joke. I was worried about you and the weiner dogs, too!

  11. Oh dear–I feel really badly–I meant this to be sort of funny…BIG apologies for all the worries I caused! Given my history with stalkers and blogging, I should have thought twice.

  12. Oh, but Jade, I thought it was funny too! And I do think there’s something good and cathartic about making a joke out of our worries. And I’m so glad you’re clear of the weird stalker. (Ick.)


    I hate April Fools Day, because I am the Biggest one of them all. Seriously. But actually it happens to me all year around.

  14. I am gullible too! I am so gullible that I was at work and happened to check my Google Reader and saw the heading of this post and I got so concerned that I clicked through (I never read blogs at work!) to see what was going on and if you were okay.

    I am so dumb!

    But you made me laugh, and I am so, so glad you’re okay.

    I’m also glad today is April 2.

  15. you had me fooled for a sec. i know someone who actually shut down her blog because of a stalker. and the stalker wasn’t even me.

    but now i’ve read it again, it is pretty funny.

  16. thank gawd! jeebus, i’ve been out of commission for a while and to come back thinking that something like that really happened would have sent me spiraling into a bottle of wine. 😉

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