no win-win


Dudes, I think there are more gophers lurking about. Of course he wasn’t the only one–and of course, you can’t end a game, or a story, on a tie.

Someone has to win and someone has to lose (there are no “win-wins” in good stories, just in good business practices). Some movie companies feel like there can be win-wins, and thus the trilogies (each side gets a chance to win again). But even trilogies largely end up with a tie-breaker.

So the story of my garden resumes again. I noticed little holes, little pockets, and I noticed the curiosity of my dog highly piqued at the garden (she would stare intently at the garden for hours, looking for a way to sneak in and start digging/hunting). In fact, my dog was the one who pointed out the whereabouts of this gopher hole, one I uncovered with a shovel.

I shoved a trap in there. Within an hour, the gopher ate the carrot in the trap, but had evaded trappage. I waited some more.

I’m still waiting.

But now my days of going out in the garden are on hold–this cold has turned into a full fledged flu, and I’m now sitting at home, utterly crabby at every work email (I need to stop checking my work email but like my novel, I can’t stop looking at it). I’m also definitely wallowing in discouragement over my writing.

Thank you for your comments and all your emails–you know who you are, supporting me and rallying me on. I gotta dig deep muster up my will.

I’ve been thinking about will these days–what keeps people going under dire circumstances? I often wonder how people keep surviving, despite the worst of circumstances. I’m the girl who’ll point to the news and say, “Dude, I would NOT deal with that–I’d probably kill myself!” My husband will tell me it’s the human will to survive. Hrm. I wonder if I’m human, because the survival will is not too strong in me.

But then I do start thinking about things that drive me forward. Maybe my things are just different from everyone else’s. Because there are a handful of things in my life that would drive me to survive, let’s say, a death camp.

Okay, I guess I shouldn’t write a blog post while feverish.



Filed under Life

3 responses to “no win-win

  1. Have you ever read Victor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning”? It is a fantastic book…he is a philosopher, I suppose, and a holocaust survivor, but he mostly talks about what keeps some people moving on, and about how others give up. It is an absolutely fantastic book, and it sounds like it might suit you right now.
    Hope you feel better soon.

  2. “okay, i guess I shouldn’t write a blog post while feverish.”

    how true — there are no “win-wins” in great fiction. it’s a zero-sum game, the human condition.

    no, by all means, keep writing blog posts while feverish.

  3. oreneta: I have not! but I will look into it.

    bookfraud: 🙂 the fever is over. i was getting incoherent!

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