I’m picking myself up off the floor. Redoubling my efforts. Taking a different vector.
I have sent out a bunch more submissions again. It’s Fall, that time of year! Some via online submission, but mostly via postal mail. (Just this weekend alone, I’ve spent $17.29 on postage). I walked over to the post office box today and dropped the manila envelopes into the dark abyss. With a good dose of hope and prayer.
As I swung the little door shut, hearing the envelopes slide down…I saw the first leaves fall, dry and crispy and brown like they often do in California, having skipped otherwise picturesque displays of orange yellow and red. Autumn. Why is it that I feel so alive this time of year? So naturally happy and productive? Summer kills me. I so want to explore the world–I want to get to New York, but I’m not sure my schedule will allow travel. Too many shows to which I’ve bought tickets, a spiking workload…bleah. But still, I’ll make sure to see Fall color somehow–a trip to Tahoe, perhaps.
I’ve also decided to apply to writing residencies. Well, to one in particular. I’m usually obsessively organized–but guess what: I TOTALLY FORGOT TO LINE UP MY REFERENCE LETTER. How on earth?! Argh. So, with 2 weeks to spare until the deadline, I asked one of my mentors to write me one. I’m hoping she can dredge up an old reference letter (she’s written reference letters for me before). Keeping my fingers crossed and kicking myself for being so forgetful. I feel like a total dork. If she doesn’t say yes, I don’t know who I can ask for a reference letter on such short notice. Is there a friend I can beg?
I’m still going to forge on–I don’t want to be miserable, I want to achieve things, I want to find delight in life!