Sick. Fever. Chills. Headache. Dizziness. Nausea. The nausea being the worst–because I feel that if I could just EAT, I could get BETTER.

I stayed in bed until 2pm when I was finally able to get up and walk downstairs. Now I’m on the couch utterly bored out of my mind, gritting my teeth at the nausea.

I obsessively waited for the mailtruck. If I had dog ears, you’d see them, continuously cocked for that low rumbling sound accompanied by the metal “clack” of the mailbox opening and closing. I checked the mail and found two envelopes for me: one from MacDowell, the other from a litmag. Both rejections, as expected (my friend received her MacDowell letter on the East Coast two days ago, another person received hers yesterday–I figured I would receive mine today as the mail wound its way to the West).

Prop 8 passed.



Filed under Life, Writing

5 responses to “gray

  1. Oh, you are having such a bad day. I’m sad to hear you’re sick and also about MacDowell — but don’t give up and definitely apply again. The readers change every year, don’t they?

    As for Prop 8… I have no words. I’m horrified.

    I hope your flu ends tonight.

  2. anonwupfan

    Rest. When you feel a little better treat yourself.

    Remember the fourteenth amendment, sixty years ago CA still had anti-miscegenation laws.

    You will get stronger, things will get better.

  3. I despair.

    This feeling of despair feels so out of sync with the rest of the country, celebrating Barack Obama as our new president-elect.

    I despair over Prop 8–that the state of California which voted Obama into office and passed Prop 2 against animal cruelty and in defense of animals, decided to BAN marriage for gays.

    I despair over the two rejections received in the mail in the last 36 hours. I despair over my own writing.

    I guess I will feel better soon, but I’m in the doldrums now.

  4. anonwupfan

    Chin up. Greatness, social change: these things take time.

  5. I’m glad you’re feeling better now. I’ll be happy when this flu is over.

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