I have had my full dose of the blues and erratic mood swings the last few weeks, including my moment of panic and self-flagellation over lost things. I lost another thing since the folder incident, and I had another moment of melancholy during which I questioned myself. Ugh.
But nevermind! I am so sick of the blues (even though that is one of my favorite colors) that I’ve got to get my mind on more positive things and trudge onward. Things I am doing to lift my mood…
- I’ve started my garden, and am making plans to expand this year–I’ve got me a black krim, an early girl, a siberia (yes I know the siberiaN is superior but that’s what I could find), and two little momotaro tomato plant seedlings. I’ve got my herb pots all full (I’m growing fines herbes this year–and it will finally HAPPEN because I am growing the chervil indoors), I’ve got potato seedlings in the ground (yay! and I saw a sprout this morning), garlic in the ground (they’re definitely sprouting), radishes, lettuces, carrots…!
We are making plans to make another tier (my vegetable garden is on a steep patch of hill and so far, I’ve only terraced one level)…and in that next tier, I may plant adzuki red beans and a triamble squash. I am also obsessively looking up companion planting, which make it appear that some plants just physically FIGHT each other and will fight to the DEATH so I am trying to, like a good hostess, seat friends together and far away from enemies.
As I garden, I am of course, coming up with the ever-infinite gardening and writing analogies. The most recent one occurred while I was thinning out radishes and realizing that it pertained to the revision and editing process. I was thinning out radishes because you can’t have them growing close to each other–otherwise you won’t actually GET radish roots. You won’t GET to harvest anything. You have to make sacrifices.
Of course you say this is easy…but I was taking out perfectly healthy looking seedlings. Sometimes I had to choose between two very very good looking thriving seedlings way too close to each other. In a perfect world, I’d let both of them thrive and in a super-natural world, both would produce radishes. I’d hesitate–which do I pull out, and I regretted pulling perfectly healthy seedlings. But I had to do so.
Like writing. Sometimes you have to cut out perfectly good paragraphs. Because they don’t contribute to the whole narrative, because they will weigh your story down and because then your story won’t blossom and get to harvest.
I realize this is very obvious but I love that my gardening helps me with my writing; two seemingly disparate things converging always delights me.
Also: there are reports that seed sales are up something like 300% this year. I suspect that with the Obama’s vegetable garden as potential inspiration, seed sales will continue to increase. (Now if only people would buy BOOKS too–I hear book sales have increased in Europe this year–fingers crossed?).
- I am putting myself out there and meeting new people and friends. I have a second job, through which I have met countless new people. This second job is draining and results in my sleeping many many hours on the weekends (naps!) but perhaps it’s also pushing my brain to another level.
They say you can tell someone is depressed by the way you feel after meeting with them (i.e., if you feel depressed after spending time (even 15 minutes) with someone, then they are depressed). I think the opposite of that is true, too: if you spend time with someone who is happy and joyful and smart, then that will rub off on you, too. Thank you Lily.
- We are going to Disneyland! (Seriously). We’ll be at Disneyland later this week. That should help, no?
- Keep reading.
- Keep writing.