april fool’s joke on me

This is no april fool’s. I woke up completely depleted, as if I hadn’t slept at all, to the sound of my wiener dog whining in her crate: she needed to go pee. I was so tired, I seriously contemplated just letting her pee in her crate. But I felt real sorry for her, with more pity than I had for myself, so I heaved myself out of bed, put my contacts in, all the while creaming, “WAAAITT!!!” to the dog, and then lugged her crate (and the other wiener dog who I held in my left arm) down the stairs so she could pee outside.

I was in a horrible mood. Tired. Cranky. Short at least two hours of sleep (more than that really because I didn’t have a very good sleep the night before–and if there’s ANYTHING I NEED to have a good day, it’s SLEEEEEP), and facing down a very very very busy day that included socializing (a big drain for me now).

And I am supposed to go “running” today, via the “couch to 5K” program (literally: I really am literally going from the couch to 5K). I didn’t feel like I’d have any energy left to run today. Ugh. How could I get through the day without snarling at people? My husband left for work without getting the usual goodbye kiss from me, I so wanted to keep every little bit of sparse affection I had left in my body for myself. Not giving it away.

Now it’s midday. Things are levelling. The dog has peed. I am short rest, but things are feeling better. And just in time: I have to go off to teacher training.

Update: Well the day got better. As in, it got decent. Now I am nursing my mood with loads of panda express chow mein (how can something so cheap and oily be soooo goooooood?). And I’m going to do my running workout tomorrow. It can ALL wait a day.



Filed under Miscellaneous

6 responses to “april fool’s joke on me

  1. cat

    Here – this will make you feel better – http://explore.toshiba.com/petbook


  2. pretty funny, cat. 🙂

  3. Tamra

    I was looking for a poem by T. Williams that had once brought me much comfort. I did a google search and was directed to your Web site and so found Blue Song. Thanks for putting it out there–I needed to read it today.

    I read your comments and had a “Hail fellow well met” moment. I also have an illness that isn’t visible–CFIDS, chronic fatigue and immune disfunction syndrome. I was diagnosed about seven years ago and fought like hell to keep working, but after five years my body, always the comedian, refused to obey the simplest of commands, and I had to quit. Next came the battle with my insurance company, which was followed by the campaign to receive social security disability.
    I was so naive. I was shocked to discover most institutions don’t behave in an ethical manner, or even pretend to act as their commercials described. Oh, I expected a skirmish or two, but was woefully unprepared for the prolonged siege, but I eventually won because I was right, I was stubborn, and I had some huge lucky breaks.

    I was left bloodied by the body blows caused by beauacracy (look at that alliteration! I knew my master’s degree in English Lit would come in handy one day), and I eventually healed. But the deeper wounds caused by daggers wielded by those I called friend have yet to close.

    Gads, it’s taken three hours to write this–must let the critters out and get ’em fed so I can go to bed.

    I’ll close with a quote by Zora Neale Hurston:
    I have been in Sorrow’s kitchen and licked out all the pots. Then I have stood on the peaky mountain wrapped in rainbows, with a harp and a sword in my hands.


  4. Tamra–thank you so much for stopping by and leaving your words here. I hear you. After I had my stroke, the recovery was “all of the above”: wacky (hello insurance!) and inspiring and tiring and daunting and heartbreaking (yes, the friends who hurt)…

    I send you positive thoughts!

    • Tamra

      Thanks for your thoughts and I send some right back at you.

      May your matzo balls be fluffy and the charoset sweet.


  5. This post really resonated with me. I suffer with severe chronic pain and am recovering from a big surgery (3 months out) and, anyway, there are days when I have such a difficult time dragging myself out of bed but I need to for my scampy black lab. Thank goodness he’s a lazy bum and likes to sleep in but sometimes I’m so tired..it takes so much strength just to put on some pants and a coat to take him outside! I’m hoping as the weather gets better it will get easier.

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