Seven years ago on December 31, 2006, I had a stroke.
And I published an essay about the experience recently.
I’m glad I chronicled the experience on this blog, because the information was helpful to me as I wrote the essay; so much is still inaccessible to me, even years later.
Mostly, I’m grateful to all the friendships I forged while blogging my stroke. And I did literally blog my stroke, from the first moments onward.
I don’t blog here anymore, but the stroke archives are here for you and for me. Thank you for reading.
Writing Under a Pseudonym 
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I read your article on BuzzFeed. I hope your memories are in tact, but it is possible that you only have references to them, like references to files in a file system.
I have experienced consciously shutting-off my episodic memory to avoid painful realizations, and letting the related connections wither away as I leave my 12-year old period, when brain only retains the connections that are often used.
To this day, I cannot recover my past ability to traverse episodic memories quickly and efficiently. The pathways seem to have vanished, after long term non-use. I’m completely different person from what I could have been…
I had described my perceptions here ( http://old.mindey.com/jausmai.htm in Lithuanian, Google translate does translate it quite ok), when I was 21 years old (now 31).
Thank you for writing this essay. It was beautiful. I can’t imagine myself being as strong as you have been. I have massive anxiety issues and somehow it put things in perspective for me. Thank you again. I wish you nothing but the best.
Thank you for your kind wishes! Hopefully, with the advances in neuroscience ( like http://www.humanconnectomeproject.com/ ), in the future, we’ll all be able to connect in much deeper ways than we are able today. Best wishes.
Thank you for sharing, may your life always be blessed.
Your essay was so beautiful, thank you so much for sharing! I am looking forward to reading more of your writing from now on 🙂
Thank you for sharing your experiences. It helps to know others have had similar experiences and have managed to stay sane and even thrive. It’s also hard to describe to others what’s going on inside and how it makes you feel. Thanks again, wishing you the best of everything.
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Read your article on Buzzfeed. I had a similar experience at 46. So many of the things you mentioned are reminiscient of what I went through, it was rather a validating experience to read. The mind is an amazing thing, but it’s horrifying to have language stripped away, something that was so integral, so vital, to betray you so. I felt cheated, like the one thing I owned in my life was stolen. It returns slowly, like learning a new skill as an adult. Thank you so much for sharing; I hope other stroke survivors(we have to find another name besides survivors!) are helped by your article as much as I – and my wife – were in reading it. Some things are so, so hard to explain.
Thank you for your BuzzFeed article. Yes, stories are segments woven together. That they are told by writers brave enough to share intimate pieces of themselves also helps. You helped.
I just read your article on Buzzfeed through another newsletter I subscribed to. I’m glad that I did. More than being informative, it is enlightening the way you described and shared your experiences and emotions. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes a severe setback is the best thing that can happen to one (I got lucky my misfortune became my blessings) and pray it is the same for you. “Jia You”!
I read you post on Buzz Feed. It was beautiful, heart-breaking, and inspiring. You are a very gifted writer. Good luck!
I just finished reading your amazing article. You are an exceptional writer whose experience can teach us all a lot about life and how we live it. In living the way you had to, you have seen life through different eyes and have lived knowing there is only this moment.
Thankyou for sharing your story and the wisdom you have gained. Thankyou for reminding us to live fully and present to what is.
Karen
I read your article on Buzzfeed. Thank you so much for putting your story out there where people might begin to understand a little.
I just saw your Buzzfeed article featured on WordPress, so I stopped by to take a look.Thank you for your work on this. Although you’re not maintaining this anymore and — understandably — want to get on with your life, I’ve added a link to your posts on my blog, so others can find this work.
Thanks again and be well.
10 November 2007 my daughter Sarah died from a stroke at the age of 35. It is so meaningful for me to hear your description of what it was like to experience it and to know that you were able to reclaim your life.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Barb.
I absolutely loved your essay, it reminded me of my experience with a Stroke on Dec 17th 2011. Things are slowly coming back to my brain, but it’s not the same as before.
I just read your essay on BuzzFeed and hope to find my way back to read more of the blog you wrote. I had a stroke at 44, but it affected my right side, rather than on a mental level. Reading your account has made me better understand the reasons for many of the tests I was given in rehab. Interesting though is I also have a PFO, which I’m told does not require closing and was not the cause of my clot. I wish the best for you and that you will someday be able to access all of your memories. Thank you for sharing your experience.