You know how my eyeball was hurting and how my vision is suddenly screwed? I thought it might be another TIA or stroke…but it is probably not (thank goodness). I went to my usual eye doctor today–who took a look at my eyeball, and shook his head. He said, “Your cornea is REALLY SCRATCHED. The surface is really bumpy.” (I could sense that what he WANTED to say was, “WHAT THE FUCK? You scratched the fuck out of your eyeball? How the hell are you walking around with your eyeball all scratched up like that?”)
Boring detailed summary of eyeball situation: He thinks that my sudden blurry vision might have been caused by a scratched cornea (caused by a torn contact lens I was wearing). And that when I switched contact lenses, it might have healed in time for last Friday’s emergency visit to another ophthalmologist. And that I tore my contact lens again this past weekend, and scratched my cornea again, just in time for a visit with him.
Back to dialogue…
“How are you wearing this lens?”
Oh Oh? ohhhhh. Uh. “I dunno,” I told him. “I tear my left contact lenses a lot.” (I really do–I have twice as many right contact lenses as I do my left, because my left contact lenses ALWAYS rip).
“What are you doing with your contact lenses?” He is not asking these questions in any sort of offensive way. Part of why I love my eye doctor is his wonderful rapport with patients. I am not being sarcastic–he is really cool.
He nodded. (What he really wanted to say, I could tell was, “SERIOUSLY?!!”)
He put an antibiotic drop in my eyeball. He gave me eye drops. He threw away my contact lens. I have to wear eyeglasses the rest of the week (I groaned and giggled–he said, “Now–there are worse things in life!” I responded, “Yes I know–that’s why I punctuated my groan with a laugh.”) I’m supposed to come back in a few days. At which point he’ll do another exam and give me a new prescription, and uh–he’s going to have someone on his staff watch me put a contact lens in to see what I’m doing to rip them.
[Shift facial expression to something more solemn]…In other news…
I came home to another rejection slip. From AGNI, one of my favorite literary journals. I’ve gotten two of these rejections slips now from them, the ones that say, “This is not our customary rejection slip,” after the whole intro of “Thank you for giving AGNI the opportunity to read your work. We found the writing lively and interesting and enjoyed reading it. After careful consideration, we’ve decided that this manuscript isn’t right for us, but please consider sending other work in the future.”
I once told my Famous Writer friend about this particular rejection letter. She looked at me kindly and smiled, “You know–a rejection is still a rejection.”
And so it is.